Dear Tom and Ray:

I am a steady reader of your column. Recently, you called the Ford Escort a cheap, small, noisy car. I resent this. Three of us here have 1992 Escorts--good gas mileage, no problems, comfortable. We are very happy with our "cheap cars." I am a senior citizen who cannot afford to buy or keep up your "big car." So hooray for my Escort! Why are there so many on the roads if all you say is true? Apology accepted.
Mabelle

RAY: We DO apologize if we offended you, Mabelle. If you want our opinion on why there are so many Escorts on the roads, it's because, like you, Mabelle, there are lots of people who can't afford bigger, safer, more comfortable cars. So they buy, what? Cheap, small cars!

TOM: We're glad the Escort serves all your needs, Mabelle. But if someone offered you a bigger, quieter, more comfortable Ford Taurus for the same cost, wouldn't you take it? Of course you would! You bought the Escort because you had to compromise. And that's fine. Everybody compromises in different parts of their lives. For instance, I would have liked to have both beauty AND brains... but I had to compromise, too.

RAY: Yeah. He compromised by combining "brains" and "beaut..." and ended up a "brute!"