Apr 12, 1997
RAY: This came via the Internet from a guy whose address I don't know. Barely know his name. I'll read it just as he sent it because I couldn't possibly improve it.
A soldier returns to his base to find his golf clubs had been removed from the trunk of his new 1960 something Ford. After complaining around the base, he learned that this crime had been repeatedly happening with Fords, and only Fords parked in the base parking lot while the car owners were on military duty. No damage had been reported to the cars, only thefts. So our soldier deduced that someone must have had a set of master keys to let themselves into the cars parked on the lot. Got it?
TOM: Yeah.
RAY: What did he do to prevent this burglary from happening to him again? He didn't spend any money--only a few minutes with a common tool.
TOM: Yeah,latitudinally..
RAY: Yeah, latitudinally..stuck the piece that you wouldn't grip with your fingers into the lock...now it requires his special half key to open it and no such skeleton key or master key could open this lock.
TOM: But any screwdriver would have done it.
RAY: They opened it with a crowbar!
TOM: If it was a convertible it was a mistake because you know you never, ever lock a convertible.
RAY: Not unless you want your top slashed.
