How To Reply When Dealers Ask To Buy Your Car

After a century of dealers selling us vehicles in a manner we have collectively come to despise, the tables have now turned. Dealers are desperate to find cars, crossovers, and trucks to sell. A global vehicle shortage has left dealers without inventory to move, and the bills are overdue. If a car dealer or any similar group like Carfax, Carvana, Vroom, Carmax, or Autonation reaches out by mail, email, phone, or when you are in for an oil change, we’ve created this simple guide you can follow.

Step One: Set the Tone

If you speak to anyone in person, be it male or female, ask if you should really “check with their husband“ before going any further. The ladies in our readership understand this, and have been experiencing this for years. The general idea is to let the buyer know that they themselves are not considered qualified to make a vehicle purchase decision.

Step Two: Ask “What It Will Take To Get This Deal Done Today”

Ignore any initial offer the dealer puts forth. Giggle at it a bit. Then say, “What will it take to get you into the car today?” This is a tactic used by car dealers to see just how desperate a buyer is. Well…It’s their turn.

Step Three - Add-In $1,900 For Useless Stuff At Extravagant Cost

Once you begin the negotiations, inform the dealer that your particular car is not in stock as the factory built it. Oh no, you’ve added some things of incredible value that every buyer must have. Tell them this is your list:

• $300 Clear Coat Protection (Your local car wash adds that, right?)
• $750 Infotainment Cradle (You have a phone holder stuck in your vent, right?)
• $350 Floor Mats
• $400 Interior Protection System (That little Christmas tree deodorizer counts)
• $200 78% Nitrogen Tire Fill (A.k.a. air)

Step Four - $250 Vehicle Preparation Fee

Many dealers charge a vehicle preparation fee. You should too. This is what you will charge to quickly check under the seat for any old hamburger wrappers, pens, or other lost items. It will take you time to do this.

Step Five - $200 Warranty Transfer Fee

Aftermarket extended warranty companies charge money when you cancel their warranty. Be sure your dealer knows you have to recoup that cost and also be compensated for the time it takes to cancel (which is actually substantial). They will understand. They are the ones that sell this rubbish.

Step Six - $75 Documentation Fee

Add in a fee to cover your documentation changes. This is a real fee that dealers charge you when they have to update their documents when a car is sold. As the seller, you will now be updating your documents.

Step Seven - Agree To A Price, Then Add a $1,200 Destination Fee

After the price has been set and agreed upon, show the dealer their final purchase price with $1,200 added for destination and delivery. Dealers do exactly this. Why shouldn’t you? After all, you are going to be delivering the vehicle, right? If not, and they are picking it up, let them know this fee applies to all vehicles you sell. They have that same policy.

Last Step - Offer To Sell Them a Spare Key Set For $1,000

Since the chip shortage began, some dealers have been delivering vehicles with just one key. You should as well. After you do the deal, hand over one key and then ask if the dealer would like to buy a spare for $600 and a valet key for $400. Tell them that if they buy both you’ll throw in the owner’s manual at no added charge, A $19.95 value!

Dealers have been sticking it to you with ridiculous fees and outrageous policies for a century.

Now is your chance to finally return the favor.